Tony, I think we're in Kansas?
by VampireLibrarian
Summary: Captain America and Iron Man ask Doctor Strange to help so he sends them to the one place that has all the answers...The Men of Letters bunker in Lebanon, Kansas.


Tony watched as the blast from his hand just split one of the otherworldly beings into two more beings. "Well, that didn't go as planned, Cap!" He watched as they finished getting formed and raged towards them. "Cap, watch your six!" He screamed as he attempted to give Steve just a few more minutes to react.

Steve swung around and slung his shield slicing through both of them only causing them to become four. "Tony, we're outnumbered and our good doctor is doing what exactly?" Tony rolled his eyes as he motioned to Doctor Strange who was levitated in his trance. "Hey, Doc! A little help here would be really nice right about now," Steve yelled behind them as he backed up to be shoulder to shoulder with Tony.

Doctor Strange just shook his head as he pulled himself out of his trance. "Would you like some help, Captain? Then I shall show you some help."

He opened his hands right before Tony and Steve saw a bright green flash. When they landed, they looked up to see two guys dressed in flannel shirts and jeans sitting at a table covered in ancient looking books. Tony opened his face shield as the guys stood up dumbfounded by the two men who just appeared in their bunker. "What the Hell? Cap, what happened?"

"Son of a bitch! Who are you and why are you in our bunker?" Dean started to get his gun out of his waistband.

Steve set his shield down and held his hands up. "No need to do whatever you're thinking. We're as confused as you are." He looked over at Tony who was trying and failing to access Friday in his suit. "Are we, what you would call, fucked, Tony?"

Tony smiled at Steve. "First, Cap...LANGUAGE. Second, ummmm yeah. Wherever or WHENever we are Friday isn't responding. Do you think he sent us to an alternative universe?" Tony took his helmet off and set it on the table next to the shield.

"Dean, you know who these guys are!" He jogged over where Dean 'hid' his comic books from Sam.

"Hey those are … I mean I don't know how those got there." Dean was slightly embarrassed when Sam came back with his collection of Marvel comics.

"You're Captain America." Sam tossed the latest issue on the table so that Steve could see the cover. "And you're Iron Man."

Tony looked at the cover, scrunching up his nose at the drawing. "I don't look anything like that. And let's be honest, Steve here only got to look 'that way' because of chemical experimentation." Steve looked over at Tony who was laughing as he started to take off his suit. "Ok so you know who we are. Can we ask who you are?"

"You're not even surprised that we have comic books of you two?" They both shook their heads as they continued to relax a bit. "Well then I'm Sam and this is my brother Dean." He watched as Steve stopped like he had a memory.

"WAIT! I know who you are. You're the Winchesters." Dean stood a little prouder finding out that Captain America knew who he was. "You know Tony, like the guys on that show that Natasha and Gamora are slightly obsessed with." Tony stared at Steve a little confused as Steve looked over at the brothers. "You know...The show they tell us they're watching to 'just study their fighting style' but…"

"Oh yeah!" Tony smirked as he looked the guys over once. "I eavesdropped on them while they were rewatching one of the seasons in the rumble room. Natasha thinks Sam's butt is very tight and Gamora would like to try to take down Dean," he glanced over at Dean. "If you know what I mean."

Dean smirked slightly. "I wouldn't mind her trying to take me down."

Tony looked at him as he shrank his suit into a briefcase. "I tried that ride and she put me in the hospital for two weeks." Tony thought back. "'It was fun though."

Sam just shook his head as Steve rubbed his temple in frustration. "How did you get here?"

"We were in a battle with some aliens from one of Thanos's clans, but these were nothing like we've battled before. If you tried to destroy them in any way, they would split at the injury point and regenerate creating two from the one. I yelled for Doctor Strange to help us and…"

"And he dumped us in your … this isn't a living room. What is this place?" Tony asked as he helped himself to some of the Winchesters' bourbon.

"It's the Men of Letters' bunker. It houses an extensive collection of lore and legend on all kinds of paranormal and supernatural beings." Dean said as he picked up his beer. "It's where we call home."

Tony looked at Steve who started laughing as he shook his head. "He wants us to find the answer ourselves, Tony. That Bastard!"

"Steve, you've been hanging out with me too much. Your pottymouth is making me proud." Tony smiled as he lifted his glass in Cap's direction.

Sam looked at them both as they just shook their heads in defeat. "So you asked for help and Doctor Strange sent you to us? Dean?"

"All I can say is we have work to do...oh and Charlie is never going to believe that we got to hang out with Captain America and Iron Man!" Dean got up and started pulling some books from the shelves. "Do either of you know what planet these creatures are from?"

They both shook their heads as Sam sat down at his laptop and started typing. "We're going to need to know how to destroy them or send them back?" He looked at Steve for directions.

Tony spoke up. "If we can destroy them, that is definitely what I'm looking for but if we can send them back to Thanos, I guess that would be fine too." Tony walked over to look over Sam's shoulder. "You save our asses with some good information, and I'll fix this laptop where you won't ever need to search for Wi-Fi again." He winked as he watched Sam smile.

"That would be great. You know I wish we could have half the toys you have, Mr. Stark." Sam kept typing as Tony sat down next to him pulling over Dean's laptop.

"Call me Tony. Mr. Stark was my father. Holy shit! Who's obsessed with Asian porn?" He looked up as Dean started to blush, trying to not look over at Tony and Sam sitting at the table.

"Let me take care of that." Sam hit a few keys and closed out all of Dean's porn. "That should help the computer work a little faster."

"Yeah, I'm going to fix that too. A man shouldn't have to restrict his porn collection just to save the world." He smiled as Dean sheepishly looked over his shoulder at him.

Steve was flipping through one of the books of aliens that Dean had handed him. "HERE! Tony, they look like these, right?"

He tossed the book to Tony who looked at the picture on the page. "Ok, Sam so we're looking for aliens from the planet Tellar Prime." Tony started to read as Sam typed into the lore databases he accessed. He started to read what information was in the book as he shook his head again. "Steve, we had just scratched the surface with these uglies. Looks like," he took the book and sat back in the chair so he could see the book and Sam's screen. "Based on what I'm reading here, we need to … wait, am I reading this right?"

He handed the book to Dean as Sam kept searching the database through Area 51. "Yes, if you want to kill them, you'll need gold laced meteorite swords." He put the book down. "And you'll have to aim for the phlarnex major."

Steve flopped down exhausted and extremely defeated. "Tony, where are we going to find gold laced meteorite swords and what exactly is a phlarnex major?"

Tony shrugged as Sam flipped his laptop so Steve could see the screen. "The phlarnex major is located right here." He pointed to a place on the diagram that would coincide with the belly button on a human.

Dean walked into the storage closet off the library. "And these are gold laced meteorite swords." He smiled as he watched Tony's eyes light up. "Problem is we only have two."

"Well, that's truly not a problem since there are only two of us going back so...," Tony said as he got up to take the sword from Dean and feel the weight of it. "Damn! This is a well balanced sword. Where did you get these?"

"Well according to the inventory tag, they were brought here by Robert A. Heinlein in 1958."

Tony looked stunned. "Robert A. Heinlein the author?" He looked down at the sword in his hands. "So he brought these to this bunker ... what the year before he wrote "Starship Troopers"?"

Sam laughed as he walked over to look at the inventory tag. "Yes. He was a member of the Men of Letters as were many of the science fiction and horror authors you read when you were a kid. It was the only way they could explain some of the things they saw without telling the public the truth." He flipped the tag over before cutting it off the sword and handing it to Tony with a pen. "Tony, we're going to need you to sign this showing who has possession of this sword." He reached over to the second sword and cut its tag off before turning to Steve. "Captain, I have to ask you to do the same. If they don't come back, we have to be able to tell the future Men of Letters why they aren't in the bunker." Steve nodded as he signed the back of the tag without even thinking of arguing.

"Well, if Steve is signing, I guess I can't call a lawyer and have papers drawn up." Tony said as he started to sign the back of his tag.

"Do we even have a lawyer in Lawrence that would know how to draw up those kinds of papers without totally just freaking out that we are handing over two priceless swords to two guys who literally just appear in comic books in our world?" Dean shook his head as he placed the second sword on the table.

Steve nodded at Tony who just shook his head disappointedly. "Ok, now we've found out how to kill the enemy and we have the weapons to do so. How do we get back?"

"You think Cas could do it?" Sam asked as he filed the signed tags in the box sitting under the samurai sword Dean polishes every week. Dean shrugged as Sam got his phone out.

"Who is Cas? Is she some sort of magician or witch?" Tony asked as Dean laughed.

"Well HE is an angel. Cas is short for Castiel and I'm thinking maybe he can just zap you there right before the good Doctor zapped you here," Dean said nonchalantly as he snuck a photo of Tony and Steve as they swung the swords around like little kids in a toy store. "You need to make sure that you don't interact or let your other selves see you when you get there."

"Wait! You two know angels?" Steve asked.

"Angels, demons, witches, the King of Hell, Lucifer and yes, we even know God…" he watched as Steve's expression went from calm to shocked. "Well we've met many gods, killed most of them with the exception of the Almighty God. Let me be honest, they're not all what you think they're cracked up to be actually. So I guess it's best that the Men of Letters left the general public in the dark about the truth that's out there," Sam said as he waited for Cas to answer his phone. "Cas, hey can you pop into the bunker? We're having a bit of a situation and well...you might be the only one that can solve it."

Cas sighed. He was always the Winchester's "beck-and-call" boy. "How serious is it, Sam?"

"Serious enough that I can't talk about it over the phone and I believe you're the only one other than Rowena who can handle this for us." He looked over at the two Avengers they had standing in their library right then. "And I think that Rowena might want to keep them, so she's really out of the question."

Cas sighed again. "Give me 15 minutes to finish this up and I'll be there."

"Great, we'll …" Sam stared at the phone as Cas hung up. "He said to give him 15 minutes and he'll be here." Sam smiled as he put his phone on the table.

"Did he hang up on you?" Dean asked as he brought in some snacks and drinks for everyone.

"Yeah but he'll be here soon." He sat down to watch as Tony started tinkering with Sam's laptop. He was amazed at how at peace Tony appeared as he worked on the computer. "So this is where you go to calm yourself."

Tony attached the laptop to his suit case and turned his attention to Dean's laptop. "It's the one place I feel most myself. No one judges me here. I'm not Howard Stark's wayward son who's riding his coat tails." He looked over at Sam as the laptop in front of him started running some program Sam had never seen before. "Here I can prove that I'm my own person, have my own abilities, and that the partying was just fun not my whole vapid life."

Dean sat down as he nodded. "I get it. When I need to just not be 'Dean Winchester' I go in the basement and build things. Creating with the hands that have destroyed things for the better good makes me feel normal." He noticed that Steve was staring at a gun that they had on one of the shelves. Dean had taken it off of Hitler when he killed him. He took a drink of his beer and said, "You can touch it, Captain. I promise it won't kill anyone any longer."

"Is this really HIS gun?" He turned to face Dean as he held it like it was a bomb.

"Yeah it was but I guess it's mine now. I killed Hitler...well his reincarnation or his hold over spirit. I really can't explain it but der Führer is no more." Dean watched as Steve Rogers shoulders relaxed as he held the gun and shook his head.

"Wish I could have pulled the trigger to send that son of bitch to hell." He placed the gun back in the holder.

Dean smiled as he motioned for Steve to join them at the table. "Oh, don't worry. I know that he has his own personal set of demons who torture him everyday and they make it painful."

Steve picked up a beer as he took a deep breath. "Good! If anyone deserved it, it was him."

Tony nodded in agreement as he watched the laptop screens and started to type again. "Almost done with this." He unhooked his suit from the laptop. "This will allow them to never need Wi-Fi again. I embedded a local, non-traceable hot spot in each one. I also was able to set you each an encrypted cloud storage which will allow you both to save things and access them from any computer or device."

"Thanks, Tony." Sam started to look through his laptop as Tony reached over and grabbed some chips off the plate Dean had on the table.

"Don't mention it! You two are saving our asses. Now we just need to…" Before he could finish his statement, Cas walked up into the library.

"I flashed into the kitchen by mistake."

"Cas, you kind of look like…"

"Yes, I know Dean. I sent Crowley on a wild goose chase for a piece of the bark from the Tree of Life. So I have like 5 minutes. What is it that you need me to do?"

Tony looked up shocked. "Your angel wears a trenchcoat?"

"Yeah and he's been hanging out with the King of Hell so it seems he's also in a bad mood today." Dean motioned to Cas's disgruntled look as Tony laughed. "So we need to send Iron Man and Captain America back to finish their fight with aliens. They were midfight when they got zapped here."

Castiel looked at the two strangers who were standing in the library with the Winchesters. One looked like the American flag had thrown up on his outfit while the other one was getting into some kind of machine suit. The one with the star-spangled suit on was holding two swords and a shield. "Ok well, I can send them back but do we have anything from the fight, something that will give me a place and time to send them?"

Tony stomped his boot and knocked off some dirt. "Will this work? It's dirt from the field where we were fighting."

Cas nodded as Sam got the bowl out for the spell to start. "I'm not putting a time limit on this one?"

"No, it's a one way trip for us both." Tony said as he took one of the swords from Steve.

Steve gathered up the dirt off the ground as Tony hooked up a small drive secretively to one of the laptops on the table. Cas mixed everything in. "Ok, last thing I need is a piece of each one of your hair and hold on to the side of the bowl." Each Steve and Tony dropped in a piece of hair and held on to the bowl.

As Cas chanted, Tony looked over at Dean and smiled. "See you on the other side, Winchesters. Nat and Gamora aren't going to believe this for one minute!" With that they were gone and Cas collapsed on the floor.

TWO WEEKS LATER

Sam rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he walked into the library with his cup of coffee. It had been a long night on the road but he was so glad they made it home before the snow. All he wanted to do today was start a fire in the fireplace they have yet to use and transcribe some of the older books into the database as he let Dean play movies of his choice on the big screen. He smiled at the thought of how happy it made Dean to force him to watch the same action movies over and over again. He hadn't told him yet that Charlie had hooked them up with a flash drive full of new movies to watch. When he got to the threshold he yelled, "DEAN! DEAN!" He dropped his coffee cup as he ran to find the two swords sitting on top of two new laptops and a note.

Dean came running into the library clutching his robe closed and trying to point his gun at the same time. "What are we dealing with, Sammy?" He focused to see Sam standing next to the gifts on the table. "When did that get here?"

"I guess they stopped by after we went to sleep last night or at least that's what the note says." He handed it to Dean as he picked up the swords to uncover another couple of surprises hidden for them.

_To our Saviors the Winchester,_

_Cap and I … well this is something that I, Tony Stark, rarely says … Thank You. You two save our lives and the lives of everyone in our world with your knowledge and the swords. We had them cleaned and they are now returned for you to lock them back up until we need them again. Obviously we now know where to find them and all the information we don't have on this side of things. Vision insisted that a place that stores all of the valuable information of the realms and beyond may also want some of the ooze that came off the swords. He said that it had some sort of healing qualities. He also kept some for us to study. I also hooked you boys up with some top of the line, Stark Industries laptops. Yes, totally unlocked and ready to go. Dean will be happy with the upgrades he got on his. 4K resolution makes porn look like you were invited to join in on the fun times. __Dōitashimashite, Dean. __ Sam, your laptop has top level encryption. If anyone is ever able to hack into it, you let me know so I can jump all over my R&D people's asses. _

_See you on the other side,_

_Tony_

_P.S. We didn't come alone last night. Nat and Gamora didn't believe us and had to tag along. I hope you two love screensavers they put on the laptops for you. Thanks again!_

Dean set the note down as he picked up the laptop with his name on it. It started up as soon as it scanned his face. "Good morning, Dean," it said as it completed its opening processes. "What can I do for you today?"

With that he saw the screen light up and just fell into a fit of laughter. "Sam, start yours and see if your screen saver is as awesome as mine." Sam opened his laptop to let it scan his face and started shaking his head at what he saw. "Looks like the girls decided they had to make sure we were real." He turned his laptop around so Sam could see a photo of Gamora in bed cuddled up next to Dean with the biggest smile on her face. Sam then turned his around to show Dean a photo of Natasha Romanov with her hands on his ass under the covers and a shocked look on her face. "Well she looks like she found what she wanted was better than she expected. Huh, Sammy?"

"Shut up, Dean! I just want to know how neither of us woke up when this happened?"

"I can tell you why. We had a long night driving. It was cold outside and really warm in here. We really needed a good night's sleep after a week of living on just about 4 hours worth of sleep total." He turned the laptop back around and shook his head at the photo. "But damn it I wished I would have woken up long enough to kiss her lips just once."

Sam started walking back to the kitchen to get another cup of coffee. "Yeah, I think I would have let Black Widow hurt me and still would have woken up with a smile on my face." Dean laughed again as he joined his brother for coffee. "I might have even been ready for another round with her." He laughed as Dean shook his head.

"Whatever, bitch!"


End file.
